Collected Poems Read online

  when you said you loved me 39

  When you starred in my play 86

  Whenever I went into our local library 13

  Whenever my sons call round we hug each other. 393

  ‘Where do you get your ideas from?’ 278

  Where I live is posh 241

  Where I live is shite 241

  Where would we be without worry? 358

  Wherever night falls 334

  Who are these men who would do you harm? 395

  Who was the naughty girl I saw combing her hair with a bluebell 37

  Why can’t I teach Creative Writing in Minnesota? 273

  Why can’t the poor have the decency 183

  Wild Bill Sitting Bull 135

  With a rainbow under your arm 29

  Woke up this morning with a limp. 365

  yesterday 28

  you always were a strange girl now weren’t you? 41

  You are his repartee. 246

  You are strangely excited 271

  you are the cat’s paw 46

  You came to watch me playing cricket once. 14

  ‘You look like the wreck of the Hesperus 200

  You must remember this 10

  ‘You’ll soon grow into it,’ she would say 18

  Your duck’s arse 338

  Your husband upped and left you 294

  INDEX OF SOURCES

  The Mersey Sound (1967; revised edns 1974, 1983)

  A Lot of Water has Flown under your Bridge 30

  Aren’t We All 32

  At Lunchtime 58

  Comecloase and Sleepnow 30

  Discretion 36

  Dreampoem 45

  The Fallen Birdman 13

  The Fish 41

  Goodbat Nightman 109

  Icarus Allsorts 54

  The Icingbus 180

  Let me Die a Youngman’s Death 60

  Mother the Wardrobe is Full of Infantrymen 57

  M66 52

  My Busconductor 177

  My Busseductress 178

  My cat and i 44

  On Picnics 51

  Sad Aunt Madge 7

  Snipers 3

  A Square Dance 50

  There’s Something Sad 174

  Vinegar 43

  What the Littlegirl Did 175

  What You Are 46

  Why Patriots are a Bit Nuts in the Head 51

  You and Your Strange Ways 40

  Summer With Monika (1967) 63

  Watchwords (1969)

  The Act of Love 33

  The Hippopotamusman 179

  If life’s a lousy picture, why not leave before the end 40

  Man the Barricades, the Enemy has let loose his Pyjamas! 28

  My little plastic mac 35

  Poem for the opening of Christ the King Cathedral, Liverpool, 1967 159

  Poem on being in love with two girls at the same time 29

  snowscene 199

  Soil 205

  The Stranger 199

  Sundeath/greentears 39

  Who was The Naughty Girl 37

  After the Merrymaking (1971)

  after the merrymaking, love? 33

  Amateur traumatics 86

  and the field screamed ‘TRACTOR’ 206

  Bucket 4

  Buddies 85

  Bulletins 88

  Cake (original title ‘First Degree Marriage’) 90

  a cat, a horse and the sun 212

  Dawnmare on 24th St 173

  Dreampoem 2 (original title ‘dreampoem’) 45

  Dunenudes 34

  Ex art student 312

  40—Love 95

  Flying 171

  Hash Wednesday 91

  Head Injury 100

  McGough’s last stand 89

  The Mongrel 91

  The Newly Pressed Suit 308

  On having no one to write a love poem about 44

  Pantomime poem 197

  P.C. Plod at the Pillar Box 110

  P.C. Plod in Love 110

  P.C. Plod versus the Youth International Party 112

  P.O.W. 97

  The Sergeant gets a handsome deal 111

  Smart Railings (original title ‘Railings’) 4

  The sun no longer loves me 43

  There are fascists 202

  Three weeks ago we decided to go our separate ways 98

  Train Crash 256

  Trenchwarfare 88

  Uncle Harry 257

  Vandal 87

  You may get the vote at eighteen, but you’re born with a price on your head 362

  Gig (1973)

  9 to 5 (or cosy biscuit) (original title ‘epilogue (or cosy biscuit)’) 125

  Another Brick in the Wall (original title ‘Canterbury’) 17

  Birmingham 114

  Bradford 115

  bravado 87

  Canterbury 120

  Cardiff 122

  Cardiff 6 p.m. 121

  Cardiff 11 a.m. 122

  crusader 161

  exsomnia 167

  George and the Dragonfly 25

  happiness 85

  Huddersfield 117

  humdinger 27

  The Identification 252

  Leeds 119

  Newcastle 118

  Nottingham 124

  ofa sunday 168

  italic 169

  out of sequence 184

  the picture 309

  Sheffield 119

  tigerdreams 90

  tightrope 90

  un 86

  Unlikely (original title ‘Loughborough’) 169

  vampire 163

  warlock poems 164

  Wolverhampton 115

  In the Glassroom (1976)

  A Brown Paper Carrierbag 252

  Catching up on Sleep 162

  Conversation on a Train 126

  Footy Poem 157

  Kyrie 255

  The Lesson 195

  Near to You 38

  Newsflash 172

  Postcard (original title ‘Postcard Poem 1’) 172

  Science, where are you? 363

  Holiday on Death Row (1979)

  Blazing Fruit 275

  Cabbage 204

  Closet fascist 201

  Contact lenses 38

  The death of John Berryman in slow motion 287

  Funny sort of bloke 256

  A golden life 96

  His poems are nets 282

  Holiday on Death Row 102

  The horse’s mouth 175

  Incident at a Presidential Garden Party 174

  Just another Autumn day 181

  The lake 221

  May Ball 42

  Missed 347

  Mouth 101

  Nocturne 167

  Passion 360

  Poem for a dead poet 300

  The Rot 99

  Solarium 361

  Survivor 355

  Take a Poem, Miss Smith 276

  10 Ways to Make a Killing on the Stock Market 92

  Tide and time 258

  Vague Impressions 23

  Vegetarians 202

  War of the Roses 259

  W.P.C. Marjorie Cox 261

  Work-to-rule 182

  Waving at Trains (1982)

  The Battle of Bedford Square 305

  The Birderman 208

  Educating Rita 289

  The Examination 272

  Framed 309

  Happy Ending 329

  I Don’t Like the Poems 304

  Is My Team Playing 158

  Noah’s Arc 53

  Rabbit in Mixer Survives 326

  Rainbow 29

  Romantic 267

  The Scarecrow 207

  Scintillate 169

  Shy 28

  Six Shooters 246

  There Was a Knock on the Door. It Was the Meat 203

  Two Haiku 315

  UNLUCKY FOR SOME 187

  A Visit to the Poet and his Wife 288

  Water, Tree, Cave, Mother 196

  Waving at Trains 170

  What My
Lady Did 260

  When I Am Dead 302

  You and I 95

  Sky in the Pie (1983)

  Haiku 315

  The Leader 183

  Melting into the Foreground (1986)

  All Over bar the Shouting 93

  Bars are Down 6

  Bits of Me 367

  The Boyhood of Raleigh 311

  Bye Bye Black Sheep 2

  A Cautionary Calendar 254

  Conservation Piece 213

  Crocodile in the City 216

  The End of Summer 252

  A Fair Day’s Fiddle 183

  The Filmmaker 301

  For Want of a Better Title 296

  From ‘Les Pensées’ by Le Duc de Maxim 292

  Good Old William 258

  Green Piece 214

  Happy Birthday 335

  Hearts and Flowers 7

  Here I Am 336

  The Host 263

  How Patrick Hughes Got to be Taller 310

  In Transit 259

  The Jogger’s Song 242

  A Joy to be Old 329

  Last Lullaby 94

  Laughing, all the way to the Bank 265

  low jinks 360

  Melting into the Foreground 345

  Muffin the Cat 279

  My Little Eye 1

  Ode on a Danish Lager 346

  On the Road 113

  Poem with a Limp 365

  Prayer to Saint Grobianus 351

  Q 341

  Sap 213

  Today is Not a Day for Adultery 269

  Tramp Tramp Tramp 5

  Trees Cannot Name the Seasons 212

  What prevents a poem from stretching into Infinity? 315

  Wheelchairs 295

  Who Can Remember Emily Frying? 262

  Worry 358

  Nailing the Shadow (1987)

  Days 333

  In Good hands 334

  Poem for a Lady Wrestler 262

  Uncle Roger 337

  Defying Gravity (1992)

  Alphabet Soup 13

  Another Mid-life Crisis 350

  As Every Bandage Dreams 266

  Awful Acrobats 297

  Bath – Avon 272

  Bearhugs 393

  Behemoth 215

  Big Ifs 313

  The Blues 349

  The Bright Side 358

  Carbon 372

  Children’s Writer 314

  Cinders 395

  The City of London Tour 226

  Crazy Bastard 340

  Creative Writing 273

  A Critic Reviews the Curate’s Egg 283

  Curse 222

  The Darling Buds of Maybe 291

  Defying Gravity 389

  Early-Morning Poems 350

  Element 109 379

  Ex patria 240

  Fart 243

  Fear of Flares 341

  Fired with Enthusiasm 352

  Five-car Family 223

  Five Ways to Help You Pass Safely through a Dark Wood Late at Night 211

  The Fly 215

  Fool’s Gold 378

  Four Sons 394

  Getting Off 362

  Getting On 362

  Gold 377

  Hard Times 20

  Having My Ears Boxed 16

  How to Become a Sixer 19

  In at the Kill 392

  Iron 373

  Isolation 343

  It’s only a P… 298

  It’s only a P… Part Two 299

  Joinedupwriting 314

  Just Passing 394

  The Man in the Moon 389

  Maurice 19

  Mercury 375

  The Nearest Forty-two 284

  Nitrogen 371

  No Surprises 246

  Oxygen 371

  Planet Babel 286

  The Poet Takes an Autumnal Stroll on Hampstead Heath 273

  Poor Old Dead Horses 177

  The Railings 14

  Repelled by Metal 302

  Rocker-by 338

  Sacrifices 18

  Shavings Account 351

  Snowing Down South 26

  Spitting Prohibited 21

  Squaring Up 15

  Star Juice 349

  Stinging in the Rain 225

  Sulphur 376

  This be Another Verse 291

  The Trouble with Snowmen 391

  The Unknown Worrier 358

  Used to Drink 348

  Wearing Thin 18

  Where It’s At 338

  Who are These men? 395

  Word Trap 285

  Your Favourite Hat 267

  Lucky (1993)

  Drinking Song 349

  Sporting Relations (1996)

  Accrington Stan 150

  Albert Robinson 131

  Alf 141

  Alfreda 142

  Angelina 138

  Aunt Agatha 143

  Aunt Ermintrude 134

  Aunty Ann 151

  Aunty Dora 133

  Barry Bungee 146

  Big Arth 149

  Billy Our Kid 135

  Cousin Carolline 130

  Cousin Chas 132

  Cousin Christ 147

  Cousin Daisy 154

  Cousin Fiona 148

  Cousin Fosbury 143

  Cousin Horatio 140

  Cousin Nell 155

  Cousin Reggie 137

  Cousin Wystan 128

  Dear Lonely Hearts 137

  Elmer Hoover 153

  Eno 145

  Grandma 127

  Granny 137

  The Hon. Nicholas Frayn 150

  Kung Fu Lee 131

  Marvin 146

  Merve the Swerve 139

  Old Mac 144

  Terry and Pancho 139

  Uncle Anthony 130

  Uncle Bram 134

  Uncle Jack 139

  Uncle Jason 147

  Uncle Jed 154

  Uncle Len 152

  Uncle Leo 152

  Uncle Malcolm 127

  Uncle Mork 129

  Uncle Noah 136

  Uncle Pat 130

  Uncle Sean 138

  Uncle Trevor and Aunty Penny 140

  Wild Bill Sitting Bull 135

  Bad Bad Cats (1997)

  Monstrance 396

  The Spotted Unicorn (1998) 316

  The Way Things Are (1999)

  Bad Day at the Ark (i–iv) 228

  Balloon Fight 388

  Casablanca 10

  Clone 279

  Clutching at Cheese Straws 342

  Coach and Horses 299

  Dialectically Opposed 271

  Dressed for the Occasion 361

  Ee Bah Gum 22

  End of Story 245

  Fatal Consequences 228

  The Father, the Son 234

  Fits and Starts 269

  5-star 344

  For the Sake of Argument 307

  Global Warming 227

  Half-term 342

  The Health Forecast 369

  In Case of Fire 352

  In Good Spirits 330

  In Vain 370

  Light Sleeper 240

  A Literary Riddle 314

  The Map 270

  My Shadow is but a Shadow of Its Former Self 363

  New Brooms 359

  Nothing Ventured 330

  Old-fashioned Values 239

  One Poet May Hide Another 288

  An Ordinary Poetry Reading 277

  Pen Pals 238

  The Perfect Place 335

  Perfume 343

  Poetspotting 293

  Posh 241

  The Revenge of My Last Duchess 310

  St Francis and the Lion (i–ii) 232

  A Serious Poem 297

  Sheer 226

  Shite 241

  Spoil-sports 237

  Stop All the Cars 224

  Trust Me, I’m a Poet 294

  Vague Assumptions 353

  The Way Things Are 396

  What Happened to Dorothy 12

  What Happened to Henry 11r />
  Whoops! 271

  The Wreck of the Hesperus 200

  The Written Word 284

  The Wrong Beds 368

  Everyday Eclipses (2002)

  After the Reading 278

  An Apology 26

  Bees Cannot Fly 334

  Bob Dylan and the Blue Angel 381

  A Bolt from the Blue 383

  Don’t Read All About It 355

  Echoes Sound Afar 387

  The End 357

  Everyday Eclipses 356

  A Fine Tooth Comb 23

  Flight Path 355

  Greek Tragedy 248

  Hey, Dude 382

  Honey and Lemon 210

  In Two Minds 160

  It’s a Jungle Out There 354

  Learning to Read 1

  The Logic of Meteors 281

  The Lottery 339

  Love Cycle 386

  M.I.L.T. 386

  Meeting the Poet at Victoria Station 274

  Memento Mori 296

  My Divine Juggler 385

  My Life in the Garden 334

  No Message 96

  On Dover Beach 227

  On Having a First Book of Poetry Published 59

  On the Point of Extinction 286

  The One about the Duck 209

  The Oxford Book of Twentieth-Century English Verse 303

  The Perfect Crime 93

  Persimmons 198

  Porno Poem 304

  Pure Jaguar 222

  Right as Rain 366

  Sad Music 390

  Say ‘Ah!’ 367

  Sleep Over 198

  The Tallest Man in Britain 264

  The Terrible Outside 250

  Thank U Very Much 384

  The Theatre 312

  This is One of Those 305

  Toffee 293

  Tsutsumu 236

  Two Riddles 283

  ‘What does your father do?’ 16

  Unpublished

  All for Laurie Lee 289

  Conservative Government Unemployment Figures 182

  The Last Strike 182

  Poem for National LSD Week 124

  Punk doll 337

  Summer with the Monarch 83

  Valentine 265

  1 ‘No.’

  2 ‘Why? Here I am the chef.’

  3 Miss the Big C.

  4 Alas.

  5 ‘True cemetery’.

  6 The Death it is Myself.

  7 ‘A grand success’.

  8 The Truth.

  9 End.

  *‘The Voluptuous Night’, for instance, would make a decent title.